Taking Time

Wonderful Reading, Sunday Surf

2012-01-22T09:00:00.010Z

Some of my favourite reads this week, enjoy!

Homemade Herbal Shampoo ~ a wonderful shampoo from the Natural Health and Prevention Blog! Something to try straight away!

Seven Lies about Homeschoolers ~ a fantastic video! Addressing the misconceptions people have regarding homeschoolers. As a former home educated student I found this completely refreshing and very funny!

Mom, I'm Fat ~ one mother's inspiring response to her 7 year old daughter. It is so easy for our young girls to pick up unhealthy messages about body image. This is a great post - something to make us think.

Vaccination: Parents' Informed Choice ~ "Because the misinformation surrounding vaccination is so extensive, many parents don’t even question whether or not they should vaccinate their child, overlooking one of the most important decisions a parent can make..." This is an article every parent should read.

Circle of Mothers ~ a beautiful post about how the mothers of one community pulled together to help a mama who was unable to breastfeed her newborn. A beautiful celebration of the magic that is motherhood.

To the Mother with Only One Child ~ this is wonderful and validating and so very, very true and have only three children not nine!

A Butter Update (and the best soft cheese I've ever had...)

2012-01-19T09:00:00.051Z

Before you read this - warning...

Similar to the rule "do not grocery shop when you are hungry" so should you NOT blog about food when you are hungry. The following is a bit of a waffle, albeit a delicious one!

Last summer I posted all about my new butter making endeavour and I thought that that post was in need of an update because I have discovered a few new 'tricks' that are fantastic! If you are interested in butter making maybe you will find this useful and perhaps you can add to this list as well with some of your own tips and tricks! (read to the end for the best soft cheese I've ever had!).

Butter Making Tricks!

~ I no longer use my blender to churn the butter, now I use my kitchen mixer. This is much better, the blender was so tedious to clean.

~Cream absolutely must be a few (to several) days old or it won't separate, or at least it takes ages to do so otherwise. Rule of thumb - let the cream age before butter making. This is assuming of course that you are using raw dairy fresh cream. Cream from the shops is anywhere up to 50 days old, kept 'fresh' with preservatives, when you buy it so (although, I can't stomach this) it might churn straight away!

~Do not freeze your cream in order to make butter later. Make the butter then freeze it.

~Knead your butter under a 'cold' running tap. This is the ultimate secret to avoid spoiling. The running water washes away the excess butter milk whilst keeping it cold enough that it doesn't melt in your hands. Wooden butter paddles do not work as well.

~Salt the butter if you want to maintain the taste. I don't do this if I am going to use the butter for baking but I do salt it if we are going to just use it on toast for example. However....we have grown accustomed to the cultured butter taste so it doesn't really matter for us, but I usually salt anyway in case other people eat our butter!

~use a French Butter Dish to store butter that you are using. This little contraption is absolutely ingenious. Keeps butter fresh and spreadable without needing to be refrigerated because the butter itself is submerged in water preventing spoiling. Very clever, I love this!

~Use your buttermilk to make delicious American Buttermilk Biscuits, yummy.

and if you are really feeling creative, before baking, slice the biscuit open and place a thin slice of cheese in the middle. wow.

maybe this would be good with ham as well? sigh...so hungry...

Now for the best soft cheese I have ever had...

This is so easy.

so, so, so easy and healthy and tastes divine.

Place your jug of fresh milk in the cupboard and leave it for a few days. When it separates, this happens within 3-5 days depending on the weather (it takes longer when it's cooler) pour it through a tea towel. The whey will drain through the towel, the curds will catch in the towel. Gather the towel into bundle, tie with a string and hang over a dish to completely drain - all day or over night.(sorry I don't have pictures of this!).

When it is dry, you have something like this:

It will taste and smell sour but don't be put off, it is about to taste like heaven.

Now flavour it. Use garlic, salt, chives, herbs, honey, strawberry jam, crushed pineapple, anything.

We use garlic and salt and pepper usually, but today I used crushed garlic and bouillon powder. I know, I know, what's in the bouillon powder - nothing healthy - but ah, it tastes so amazing - for today I am ignoring the ingredient list!

I could eat this cheese by the spoon full but today it has been lovely on the buttermilk biscuits. I am thinking that this cheese might mean that baked potatoes are in order for dinner, or maybe just celery sticks ... or pita bread ... or bagels.

so hungry...

time...taking it

2012-01-16T09:00:00.001Z

My ongoing life lesson as a mother is learning how to take time. Nearly five years into this journey and I still have to remind myself that life flows smoothest when I let go of my obsession with keeping my day 'on schedule'. I feel ridiculous even writing this because really, schedule? What schedule? The only actual commitment I have is a mother's group that is every other week and honestly I hardly ever go. But still, I wake up and push myself and my children through our completely 'no stress' day until we are all grouchy, tired and impatient. Why is this lesson so difficult for me to learn?

When I let go of time I am peaceful. And even though it seems that I am determined to having to re-learn this time and again, taking time doesn't mean we never eat, bathe, or that my house is never tidy. In fact all of these things happen and surprisingly, I always seem to have time to do extra things, things I never have the energy to do when I am drill sergeant-ing us through the day.

So I am practising throwing away the clock.

and I am going with the flow, surrendering to this slow speed of motherhood. Taking time to enjoy this journey and all the simple nuances that make family life beautiful and peaceful.

Wonderful Reading, Sunday Surf

2012-01-15T09:00:00.020Z

Some of my favourite reads this week, enjoy!

A Better Wife ~ a beautiful post from Lydia at Small Town Simplicity on how simple it is to just love her husband.

Don't Carpe Diem ~ honest, raw and so many tears ran down my face when I read this. One of my favourites ever for sure.

Green Spring Clean ~ a lavender, ylang ylang, peppermint or orange linen spray. Ginger, lemon grass and orange carpet deodoriser.... this post is full of wonderful recipes for home-made natural cleaning solutions that sound absolutely gorgeous.

Making the Switch to Reusable Menstrual Products ~ this post is great! FULL of so much information. Switching to reusable products for your moontime is really a joy!

25 Rules for Mothers with Sons ~ this one has been around for a couple of months but I only just saw it and I love it.

I have been pottering in the kitchen this week. Fermenting ginger carrots (from Nourishing Traditions) with chili and lime and garlic cloves (from wild fermentation) with dried herbs and lemon. Three days is a long time to wait for things to ferment, these treats might not last that long....

And one last link to share. Just when I think I am on a brilliant track of going 'back to basics' I realise just how much I can't imagine living without YouTube! The video that changed my future with garlic!

Paint is wonderful...!

2012-01-13T09:00:00.002Z

My husband is wonderful. If you have read anything I have ever written you probably already know this. I have to say it again though, because...well... it's true.

He has asked me many times to please not buy any more used furniture that needs to be painted. No matter how sincere I am when I say that 'I will paint it myself this time' it never happens that way. My husband has painted tables, chairs, cabinets, shelves... yes, I love him.

This time however, I really did mean it. Especially since the last bedside table he painted ended up smelling up the entire house when he stripped off the old varnish. I have never seen this happen but our house smelled horrible for days, like old - very old - socks. We thought we were going to have to get rid of the table but suddenly it faded. thankfully! (the table is very sweet).

So this time I meant it. I would paint the doll cradle.

I found this *potentially* adorable cradle on ebay for £5. Such a find made my scrounger self seriously happy, but the pale, varnished, woody colour had to go.

I promised to paint it, I intended on painting it myself....

But I didn't of course. My husband spent three tedious evenings sanding and painting several coats; each rung lovingly painted for our precious girls to rock their precious dollies.

And yes, it is beautiful!

I did make the bedding; a little mattress, pillow, quilt and crocheted blanket.

I wrapped it awkwardly in left over wrapping paper Christmas Eve and early the next morning we couldn't have been happier. The girls love it and I love it. It is much better this way.

Paint is amazing but my husband is an absolute gem!

Plugging Back In!

2012-01-10T21:46:00.000Z

I have been taking full advantage of this, the darkest time of year and have been taking time away from this space. I hope you have been able to spend some time unplugged as well and have enjoyed basking in the comforts of family and fun. I am re-emerging from the holiday slumber now and am excited for a really wonderful 2012!

Once again I am honoured to have my thoughts included in the gorgeous publication The Mother Magazine. My article is called Too Young for School? ~Do we send our children to school too young? Is it healthier to wait and keep them nestled in a loving home?

The Mother Magazine is now being published and distributed in North America which is wonderful news for all of my American and Canadian friends! - visit here.

I am also joining up with Authentic Parenting and Hobo Mama this year for the Sunday Surf. I am quite excited about this, I am continually inspired by amazing bloggers from all over the world. It is going to be fun to share these posts with you, pop over if you are having a lazy Sunday and have a browse!

Happy New Year lovely readers! Thank you for always stopping by and sharing your thoughts and your energy. It is such a joy to share my parenting journey with you!

The Strength of a Mother

2011-12-19T18:40:00.000Z

I have the joyful honour of guest posting today on Code Name: Mama.

Sometimes it is our darkest days and our weakest moments that let us see our strengths... The Strength of a Mother

A lot of stockings and my 'secret' love

2011-12-10T19:56:00.002Z

It seems that this time of year brings out the humbug. All over everywhere people are frustrated with consumerism, frustrated with crowded shops and frustrated with 'having to buy people gifts just because it's expected'. I feel like I should be shy about this, it almost seems like I should keep this a secret....

I absolutely adore Christmas...

I love crowded shops and high streets with shoppers hustling about thinking about buying gifts for each other.

I love giving gifts. I love receiving gifts! I love the secret and fun. I love the surprise and the anticipation.

I love Christmas music, sweet TV adverts and all Christmas films regardless how sappy.

I love that in general people believe that this is the time of year for goodwill.

I love all the preparations that go in for just one day and that it is something our culture does together.

I love the sharing and connection - even if it is a card through our door from a neighbour we never speak to (even if they have to sign their house number along with their names just to make sure we know who they are).

I love the big massive feast and the eating and the parties.

I love missing people we love and being able to take this holiday to miss them as much as we want.

So naturally, my house is starting to overflow with delights in the pantry and packages hidden on top of cupboards and lots of fabric and yarn and glue.

I had a very ambitious idea to make this Advent Calendar to count down the days until Christmas with the children. This turned out to be more tedious than I imagined and I didn't number the cute little stockings and wasn't creative enough to actually put anything in them! So the advent calendar can be for next year! This year these mini stockings can just hang around being cute.

I did however, finish a project that has been on my list since my eldest was born. I am oh so happy with these!

I used this template and then roughly used these instructions. I found some blue ticking and a medium weight cotton for the lining then embroidered their names in red. I think they are sweet, I can't wait until Christmas morning when they are filled with surprises!

Growing Habits

2011-11-23T12:30:00.006Z

This post has been in the making for a long time simply because this topic has, in a way, plagued me since the dawn of my parenthood. I feel somewhat like a victim of a 'fog' that seems to have settled on modern parents. A fog that finds us floundering blindly, feeling anchor-less and for loss of any better description, we seem to be really, really lost...

In another era the title of this post might have included the word 'discipline'. However, this word evokes such a wide range of dramatic response that the topic itself seems to get lost behind the conflicting opinions and emotions associated with this particular facet of general 'child bringing up'. I can't in a peaceful conscious use the word 'discipline', not yet at least - not in modern context. Today, it seems that a different approach must be taken and I welcome such an approach because honestly, this is absolutely the root of my chronic parental dilemma.

My own upbringing was traditional. We were disciplined firmly, we were expected to obey, we were expected to be polite and respectful. But we were also desperately loved - cherished. My five siblings and I are happy adults, we feel successful, we are close friends with each other and we absolutely adore our parents.

Such is my conundrum. The way my parents raised us is not a popular way to raise children now. It isn't even really acceptable and from the moment my eldest was born this has proved to be the most challenging thing to balance in my heart. I want to parent naturally, gently, holistically. I want to nurture my 'whole child,' I want to nurture their spirits. I want them to be free and peaceful. I want them to be joyful. Do I feel that these things were left out of my own development? Well, no actually, but there must be a softer way to reach the same end result differently than the way my parents did it, yes? All the modern philosophy preaches this and I would love to believe it.

However, I haven't been able to pinpoint the exact way that this is accomplished and as my children grow older and we play with other older children my confusion grows. This modern approach doesn't really seem to be working for anyone. The children seem, to varying degrees, angry, fractious and unpleasant. They shout, flail, hit and argue. This seems to be the case even with the children who were gently birthed, breast fed, carried, non vaccinated, nutritiously fed, co-slept, alternatively schooled... I have been discouraged to say the least.

And then I came across the writings of Charlotte Mason. As is the case with most things, it is perhaps mostly timing. Possibly, I wouldn't have always connected quite so strongly with her philosophy at a different stage of my parenting journey but now it has struck a chord with me and I feel empowered and enlightened. To begin, and on a slightly different topic, I have always been drawn to the teachings of the Dalai Lama. Specifically the idea of disciplining the mind and not allowing ourselves to be swept away with afflicting emotions. I have learned the value of training the mind through meditation. I also (years ago) trained in martial arts and learned the value of disciplining the body. This is the healthy version of the taboo word 'discipline'. Disciplining mind and body for overall health and happiness. I have learned how to practice this for myself - but how in the world do you teach these things to children without actually disciplining them? Despite what 'the books' say, children don't seem to truthfully learn it on their own?

Perhaps it is simply the way Charlotte Mason words it but I really feel that she has cleared my fog. She talks about building and nurturing 'habits' and that children develop negative habits easily but similarly, they can grow positive habits with our loving guidance. What is a habit after all but a disciplining of our actions and emotions? I have been applying this approach with my children and the results have been wonderful - lovely. I am encouraged beyond words:

My 4 year old son receives an instruction or response to a question that he does not like and immediately he scowls, turns and stomps out of the room. This type of reaction has become common in our home and it makes me uncomfortable. It isn't pleasant or kind. it isn't joyful or peaceful. it is ugly....

However, I have been employing my newly found philosophy, experimenting on new ground. I don't feel angry or frustrated when my beloved child scowls and stomps, instead I call him back and tell him to leave the room again without the scowl and by walking nicely. He scowls, turns and stomps. I cringe but really, why wouldn't he do this? Until now scowling and stomping has been an acceptable habit. I call him back again, my voice is firmer, I tell him to walk out nicely without a scowl. Eventually, he does indeed walk out without the scowl and without the stomp but a habit is hardly formed. T~~he next day,~~ three minutes later he reacts the same way to a different instruction. Again I call him back and again we go through the 'no scowling, no stomping' process. Soon (days later?) I give an instruction and although I see annoyance flit across his eyes, he just turns and walks out of the room. Within minutes I hear him playing happily with his sister and I feel a weight, that I didn't even realise I was carrying, fall from my shoulders.

I have adopted this approach in many, many areas of our lives. Placing shoes in their designated baskets, closing doors softly, putting toys away properly, washing hands before dinner, carrying dinner dishes to the sink, speaking kindly, waiting patiently. Is this disciplining? Yes, I suppose it is but it is discipline for the highest reasons; lifelong peace, comfort and joy. Is this exhausting? Absolutely, with three children aged 4 and younger, a house to manage, clothes to wash, meals to cook, books to be read etc. etc.... It is exhausting to always be ready to practice habits with my children. It is easier to just let it go this once. Really though, if I haven't realised by now that mothering is the most challenging and most tiring thing I will ever do, when will I realise it?

Growing habits. I love the way this sounds. I can parent this way. Like the way we practice scales on a piano or practice swimming strokes until it is a second nature not to drown, so can we practice positive, joyful, helpful habits. This is gentle, it is loving and it is nurturing to our spirits. Our children can be peaceful, content and pleasant. They can speak constructively and treat others with gentle kindness. They can listen to instruction and contrary ideas with understanding, they just need to be in the habit of doing so.

My parenting fog is clearing and I feel stronger and more capable. It has taken so long and so many hours of reading and thinking and crying but I finally feel that I am on a wonderful path. Maybe there is indeed a gentle balance in my heart.

Charlotte Mason was an educational philosopher and teacher and wrote a series of books published around the turn of the 20th Century. Her ideas have especially inspired home educating families and are truthfully a celebration of childhood and learning.

Specially Featured and Some Autumnal Crafting!

2011-11-10T21:18:00.001Z

Today you will find me featured on Pocketchange! I am so exciting to have my simple blog included amongst such outstanding bloggers! Hop over and check out the other links (Pocketchange also has a fun section about green living - Be Green).

Autumn has arrived which means that one certain little girl needed something autumnal for her outdoor wardrobe.

I found the pattern for this little jacket on Etsy (here). I am very impressed because my sewing skills only extend to a mastering of straight lines! This pattern is very easy to follow and I am so grateful! I up-cycled an old wool blanket which was a bit of a challenge because it was so thick. My poor machine was definitely earning its keep! It was worth it though because it is very cosy!

Regardless of how I tried I couldn't manage to sew button holes so I made little loops to go around the buttons. I quite like how it turned out.

Naturally, this jacket needs a hat. I have one on the needles but I am such a slow knitter...

Luckily it isn't too cold yet!

I am following the 'Candy Beret' pattern form Baby Beanies. I think it is going to end up being a bit short for my taste so I have a plan to add a crochet trim and then I will try to put a lining inside just to make it that bit warmer. We'll see how it goes. My 'to make' list is starting to grow as we lead up to the holidays!

Wishing you all happy full moon blessings!

Granny Makes Six

2011-10-25T12:56:00.002+01:00

Helping prepare the Christmas Cake that will sit for the next two months

Something wonderful has happened this month.

After living away from family for the past six years, parenting and growing our family in a little cacoon we built to cradle just us - my husband and I, our babies, our dreams, our laughter and our tears. After letters, long distance phone calls and millions of lonely minutes we suddenly have what we have always missed. This month my husband's mother left her home in South Africa, travelled across the world and has come to live with us.

It is wonderful.

Watching our family move through this transition has opened my heart and my thoughts in ways I would have never imagined. I realise how insular and isolated we had become. I see how independent we were forced to be and how difficult it is so shed this habit. I see how big the hole in our family really was. It feels like a cornerstone that was missing has been replaced.

Granny fastening toys together with scarves - everyone's favourite activity lately!

Apart from the obvious blessing, an extra pair of helping hands, It is wonderful to see my husband with his mother. He seems more settled and more peaceful than I have seen him in years. It is wonderful to see my children with a grandparent, someone who is just that bit more patient and doting than I seem to have ever energy to be. It is wonderful for me to have just that extra bit of space in my mind but it is also so wonderful to share the nurturing of our home with another woman, her years and experience continually enriching my heart as a mother and as a woman.

I am learning as well, to let go of silly preferences and the somewhat ridiculous ideals that come from reading too many parenting books and not having extended family nearby to help bring balance and focus.

It is more important that my children have a granny who adores them and is here to embrace them than if they never have sweets and only have wooden toys...

and then of course the obvious...

I take the children out for the afternoon and come home to a hot meal and cake. I turn around and the washing has been hung out. Within seconds of hearing a wail, a crying child is gathered up and comforted. When we are putting the children to bed the dinner dishes are being washed and for the first time in what seems like ever my husband and I have gone walking together in the twilight on our own.

I feel blessed beyond measure. Suddenly there is new meaning to the idea of raising a child amongst a village, how were we ever managing alone?

Granny joining in with the playdough creations

Many Autumnal blessings and an apology for my absence! I am back in blog land now!

Winners and a Lovely Recap

2011-10-01T14:20:00.000+01:00

Last month's theme 'September is for Love' was a gorgeous success! A huge thank you to all the wonderful guest bloggers and a huge welcome to all Taking Time's new followers and visitors! In case you missed any of the great guest posts please scroll below to catch up, but first...

Three winners! 3 subscriptions to The Mother Magazine happily go to: Dionna from Code Name: Mama (facebook and twitter), Carolyn from facebook and @PregExcersing from twitter. I hope you all enjoy this publication as much as I do!

September is for love - Guest Posts

Setting Things Straight by Michelle at The Parent Vortex

'Brushing makes her hair straight and shiny, and the attention sets our relationship straight too...'

That's Just Love Sneaking Up On You by Dionna from Code Name: Mama

'Sometimes, love springs up quickly, intent on soaking your entire being with its presence...'

Love – The Ultimate Medicine by Lucinda from Whispering Earth

'Huge amounts of our energy are spent in shutting down and constricting ourselves because we believe we are somehow separate from love...'

Food Love by Claire from Border Stories

'But I loved food and through it I loved him... food heals, if you let them...'

Love by Veronika Sophia Robinson from The Mother Magazine

'This is the true meaning of love. Love joins. Fear separates...'

Love Letter to my Lovelies by Amy from Toddler in Tow
'Before that, you were simply love. That's where you came from...'

Love Letter to my Lovelies - Guest Post

2011-09-30T09:00:00.042+01:00

I am so pleased to welcome to Amy from Toddler in Tow, joining us on this month's theme of 'Love'. Follow this series by grabbing the September is for Love button (on the right hand side bar) and follow/share on the usual networks Twitter and FB ! Blessing to you all and a huge thanks to Amy for sharing today!

Don't forget to enter to win one of three gift subscriptions to The Mother Magazine!

Love Letter to my Lovelies by Amy from Toddler in Tow

How strange it is that only a few years ago, I had no idea that you would exist,

and now you are my world.

I watch you, growing, and I can't believe my eyes

How blessed am I to be so privileged as to lead you on your journey through life.

and having discovered the power of the love in your little hands - so precious and so real.

I'm able to let you lead me, too.

I thought that having two of you might be crazy.

People warned me that the challenge would be real and mystifying.

But when I look at the youngest of you, I remember that before you grew, you were new and tiny and sweet and I loved you. And before that, you were in my womb, and I carried you. And before that you were parts of me and daddy, and we thought of you. And before that, you were simply love. That's where you came from.

And that's how I will nurture you.

I find myself relishing in your interactions. Amazed at your differences, and in love with your characters. I smell your skin and your hair and I study your features - and I am not mystified or scared by this challenge. I am so blessed.

When I look at you, and think of this, that's how I see you.

I make mistakes from time to time. I have before and I know I still will.

But when I look at the youngest of you, I remember where it was you came from.

. . . how could I speak to you, treat you, or parent you with anything else but what you are?

And you are love!

I love you

Mommy

Amy is a Coast Guard wife and full-time mother to two enthusiastic and lovely children, Abigail (3) and Joseph (5 months). In addition to mothering and blogging, she enjoys socializing with friends, meeting new people, sewing cloth diapers, knitting, and dedicating herself to practicing compassion, baby-wearing, mom-to-mom breastfeeding support, and the study of human lactation and sociology. She currently blogs at Toddler In Tow about the experiences of a natural parenting military family, and is a contributing writer for The Natural Parents Network and socialmoms.com

Love - Guest Post

2011-09-29T09:00:00.004+01:00

I am so pleased to welcome to Veronika Sophia Robinson from The Mother Magazine, joining us on this month's theme of 'Love'. Veronika's work on this beautiful publication inspires parents and families around the world to live and parent consciously and honestly. Veronika is offering three free subscriptions to this gorgeous publication - Don't forget to enter to win one for yourself or a friend! (three gift subscriptions)

Follow this series by grabbing the September is for Love button (on the right hand side bar) and follow/share on the usual networks Twitter and FB ! Blessing to you all and a huge thanks to Veronika for sharing today!

Love by Veronika Sophia Robinson from The Mother Magazine

If we fully bonded with our baby at birth, the instinct to love and protect will be so strong that nothing can break it. Nature ordained that we’d have hormones on our side which would allow this to happen (She, unfortunately, hadn’t counted on modern-day obstetrics to get in the way!). Imagine, though, if the love hormone ~ oxytocin ~ which promotes the mother-child bond was also used to full advantage in our marital relationships? Imagine a partnership where the drive to love, protect and nurture was so strong that nothing could break it. Am I talking fairy tales? I don’t think so.

Many people stay in relationships long after the use-by-date, and say they do so for the sake of the children. It’s noble, but it doesn’t feel entirely honest to me. Our children learn about marriage through us. If our relationship consists of sniping, nitpicking, sarcasm and ongoing fighting (or just plain cold war emptiness), is THAT the gift to model to our children? Is this what we want them to recreate in their own marriages?

When you create a child with another human being you are ALWAYS in a relationship with them ~ whether you’re living happily ever after or divorced or the partner is deceased or geographically apart. The gift you give your child is how you speak about their other parent. A child will never ever feel good and whole about themselves if you are hell-bent on destroying the person who contributed to half of their existence. You might think that you’re parenting consciously, for example, choosing a non-vaccinating, vegan, home educating lifestyle for your child, but if you are constantly undermining, belittling or attacking her father then that poison will be far more deadly than any vaccine; chemically-covered carrot; or mainstream institution.

Recently I found myself pondering the true meaning of spirituality…and always I came back to the word compassion. You can have a PhD in metaphysics, or meditate at sunrise, but are you compassionate? How compassionate are you towards your life partner (or ex partner)? We are all wounded children at heart, walking around in big bodies. When we can remember this then our approach to fellow human beings will change.

Compassion and love are intricately linked. Compassion allows us to feel another’s pain, and every other feeling or experience. And this can only happen when we feel at one with another. This is the true meaning of love. Love joins. Fear separates.

There aren’t many mentors in this world who model ‘healthy love’. This is evident in the oft-quoted saying: “every marriage is difficult/has fighting” and variations on that theme. This is simply not true. It might be common, but it’s not a one-size-fits-all truth.

A few weeks (literally) before I met my husband-to-be almost 17 years ago, I wrote a list of what I wanted in my ‘ideal’ man.
* spiritually compatible
* good sense of humour
* someone who’d sing to me
* vegetarian
* kind and gentle

The original list was much longer than this, but I remember these being my top five. Turns out the Universe sent ‘him’ to where I was working: a school of metaphysics. He made, and still makes, me laugh one hundred times a day. He not only sings to me, but to audiences. Turns out he’s a professional singer. And what does he eat? Plants! As for kindness, he’s one of the kindest men on the planet.

I believe it’s important to be clear about what truly matters to us in a relationship, and the traits we’re looking for in another. To do so makes our choices conscious. If the Universe sent me a tone-deaf, depressed, violent, atheist carnivore and I said ‘yes’, then I wouldn’t have been true to myself ~ or to him. Yet, so many people say yes to someone who wouldn’t be on their ‘list’ if they’d thought consciously about relationship. What if you’re already in a relationship with someone and may be she or he doesn’t resemble someone on your ‘list’? If you’re committed to the relationship, then write a list of what is important to you about marriage/commitment/relationships. Let that be your focus. Don’t look at what’s missing, but at what you can, together, create. The sad truth is that many people don’t even know what they want in a relationship.

I need to be very clear. I’m not one of the ‘lucky’ ones (though I do indeed consider myself lucky!) because I found a Mr Right. I believe I created him into my life (“sung him to me”, as the Australian aboriginals would say), and he sung me into his life. We both knew what we were looking for. Not long before this meeting, I had believed “all men were bastards”. It was my mantra. This had been my experience (my story) and I was sticking to it…but you know, we can’t make changes unless we’re prepared to let go of the story and write a new script. I had to change that belief and to trust that there were good men who walked the planet.

Veronika Sophia Robinson is happily married, and together with her husband Paul, they edit The Mother Magazine.They have two unschooled teenage daughters, three charming cats, and live at the edge of small village in rural Cumbria. Veronika is also the author of several parenting books. www.themothermagazine.co.uk

Food Love - Guest Post

2011-09-28T13:36:00.000+01:00

A huge welcome to Claire from Border Stories joining us on our theme of 'Love'. Follow this series by grabbing the September is for Love button (on the right hand side bar) and follow/share on the usual networks Twitter and FB ! Blessing to you all and a huge thanks to Claire for sharing today!

Don't forget to enter to win one of three gift subscriptions to The Mother Magazine!

Food Love by Claire from Border Stories

The darkness surprises you when it is there before bedtime. It seemed summer was here to stay, and I get a little shock every time I need to snug the curtains before we reach our pillows. Last week I planted a new apple tree, already dripping (literally) with taut red globes. My mind finds its way to the blackberry patches we know and I estimate current stages of ripeness and try to summon the will to make yet more jam (16 jars so far and counting). I have also started knitting again, feeling the pull of wool, the biggest indicator for me that summer is on the ebb. I plan the next project with glee while biting through the tail of yarn on my current knit. Mostly though I think of food. It’s a great love of mine. If you love food, I reckon it loves you back. My days are spent in large chunks, thinking, planning; hands in bowls, fridge, the earth, with pen poised over list or recipe – contemplating what next, what next, what now, today, and tomorrow.... I left university with a degree certificate in one hand and a two month old baby son in the other. No earthly notion of how to cook or prepare food. It was ok then, because my baby just wanted me and my milk. It was with horror that one day I looked around and realised that one day I would have to feed my son actual food, not from me. And that NONE of it was good enough.

So then my journey began. I bought my first ever recipe book (my kitchen shelves actually groan in complaint now when I sheepishly add another) but right then, one was more than enough. It was the Lizzie Vann from Planet Organics’ Baby and Toddler Cookbook. My son was already in the toddler stage when I first fed him so I sort of skipped those weaning recipes. But everything else was a revelation. I learnt to make hummus and rice with veggies, from scratch! Hand rolled meatballs, salmon fishcakes, bean burgers, porridge with fruit..... It was great, and it all tasted so good. Just simple basic food, but things I had thought previously all came in packets or jars or bags, things I imagined mysterious in their assembling and making. But it was easy. And so satisfying. I found out about Nourishing Traditions, a tomb of a cookbook that was a spin off from Weston Prices work on nutrition. I sourced raw unpasteurised milk, and found places to buy organic meats and veggies and eggs that were not my supermarket. By then my second son joined us and he didn’t want to eat food at all. He was 18 months old before he first tried some soaked oat porridge from a spoon. I kept it a secret and no one asked about his diet, he was rich and plump in sausage rolls of baby milk fat that everyone assumed he must be a big eater – and he was – but only from me. He gagged at everything. I was happy to tandem feed both my boys at once and they were both seemingly super healthy to me. Around this time something happened that really challenged me. My second sons’ teeth came through, and they were not good. They seemed decayed, right from the outset and the front ones were discoloured. The dentist told me he had no enamel on his front teeth.

What on earth could I do to remedy that? Everything it seemed came back to food one way or another. I was sure with the right diet his foods could heal him. And they did. I read Nutrition and Physical Degeneration all over again, I read ferociously online, every little itty-bitty article or quote or suggestion on teeth and infants and diet. Random stuff on past life experiences contributing to current health to more practical and earthly helpfulness. I stared feeding him fermented cod liver oil, raw butter oil and I began soaking all of our grains and banishing refined sugars. I made sure he ate oily fish and took fish oil capsules additionally. I spoon fed him raw cream and gently cooked egg yolks, bone broths with veggies made from organic chicken bones.... and now he is a big child with adult teeth, that are fine. Food heals, if you let them.

This notion was tentative though, and I was anxious, because it took *years* to see his next set of teeth come in, and all the time I wondered and worried if I could do more, if I was on the right track with him. But I loved food and through it I loved him.

And then another test. My oldest son developed eczema, at the age of 8 without ever having had even a whiff or it before; I didn’t even know what it was when I saw it. It was on his face, in angry raw patches, on his back and all up his arms. It looked horrific, like he was a burns victim. Steroid creams were not the way to go, they suppressed the skin inflammation but as soon as one stopped using them the eczema came back, worse than ever. I knew the root of it all again was food. I took him to a kinseologist who diagnosed him as being intolerant to cow dairy and strawberries and she gave him various courses of homeopathics to take. An Australian friend also suggested molasses. She said Aboriginal Australians swear by (mineral rich) molasses, a tablespoonful a day to balance the system and remedy skin complaints. I switched our household dairy over to goat (no one even noticed) and game as he was to see his skin better we went through several bumper jars of molasses before proclaimed happily by us both him ‘cured’. After two or three months of the slower diet adjusting ‘method’ his skin was totally back to normal, and he has never seen a scrap of eczema again, even with the odd strawberry and bit or cow butter when we are out and about.

And then yet another test. This one my own. I was diagnosed with an auto immune condition two and a half years ago. The first article I looked up when I came home bewildered said I would have six months to live! Pah! I didn’t believe it, even in my darkest, ill nights. I couldn’t! I had a new baby girl to breastfeed, and two little boys! The standard fare was immune suppressing drugs, basically chemo, a very long two year course, every single day. I said no way. Coincidentally – because that’s the way the world works –a friend was ghost writing a book in the US for a famous and renowned immunologist. He would even see patients unless they had been dairy and gluten free for three months, so much did regular people react to gluten and dairy, results of any testing would be skewered by their consumption. So I cut them out on day two of my diagnosis, and sugar, and potatoes and any carbs that might cause blood sugar levels to rise and fall quickly. I was living on meat, fish veggies and fruit. It was a good diet for me. Still is. I decided to cut out all grains, not just gluten containing ones, and also eggs for a few weeks to see if they were inflammatory for me. They were not, phew. I have found many good things along this own personal food journey. That I am mostly very well indeed. That I don’t need drugs to keep me this way, that acupuncture is also very good. That coconut flour is great. That coconut oil is even better. That I can make my own chocolate and not feel deprived (although having ones health is never going to be a deprivation of any sort). That if I eat to love my body, food really does love you back. I see it daily and I believe it fully, because it has healed us all, and continue to do so. Food love. It’s the link we all share, because we all need to eat.

Because I like them, and experiment constantly for alternative yummy things to eat here’s a recipe:

Sourdough Buckwheat Pancakes
Soak buckwheat grain for at least four hours, drain and rinse. I take about a cupful of the wet grain and pop it in the blender with half a cupful of water. Blend and pour into a clean bowl. Leave overnight or for at least 6 hours. Then add one egg, a pinch of salt and a pinch or two of bicarbonate of soda. This recipe easily doubles up.
Ladle into a very hot pan and flip when ready. Serve with coconut cream and some fruit sweetened jam. Or spread with hummus. Yum.

Side note: For a quicker but slightly less nutritious pancake, take one cupful each of buckwheat flour and water, mix well and leave to soak overnight, add two eggs the following morning and cook as above.

Love – The Ultimate Medicine - Guest Post

2011-09-26T15:23:00.001+01:00

A huge welcome to Lucinda from Whispering Earth joining us on our theme of 'Love'. Follow this series by grabbing the September is for Love button (on the right hand side bar) and follow/share on the usual networks Twitter and FB ! Blessing to you all and a huge thanks to Lucinda for sharing today!

Don't forget to enter to win one of three gift subscriptions to The Mother Magazine!

Love – The Ultimate Medicine by Lucinda from Whispering Earth

Your task is not to seek for love, but to seek and destroy within yourself all the barriers you have built against it. ~Rumi

The more experience I have of seeing people in the herbal clinic, and of life in general, the more I see how endemic a lack of love and nurturing is in our society. This can manifest in so many ways, from the obvious, like not nourishing our relationships and communities, to the subtle, such as pushing ourselves too hard in the need to attain something or ‘treating ourselves’ with foods and drinks that are actually damaging to our health. So often even in the act of rewarding ourselves, our actions are destructive rather than loving.

The name of this wonderful blog is ‘Taking Time’ so I thought I would like to share with you here how an act of taking time can be an act of great love. Taking time to sit together, to listen to others and to ourselves, to create nourishing meals or to tell someone you love them are all so important. Above all these things though, taking the time to simply be can be the truest act of love because in a restful state of being we are naturally ourselves and therefore naturally loving.

There are many ways we can define love, perhaps more than any other word, and as a result it’s frequently misrepresented. We often think love requires some kind of action or effort, (“Let me show you I love you”) and in this way we turn love in to a state of doing rather than a state of being. We can look at it another way though, one in which love is our most natural state which wells up freely when we are open and relaxed. The effort occurs in keeping love out. Huge amounts of our energy are spent in shutting down and constricting ourselves because we believe we are somehow separate from love and therefore have to do something to ‘get’ it. This is the origin of all our struggle and consequently many of the illnesses we suffer from as subtle fears, stresses and tensions create restricted blood flow, adrenal exhaustion, anxiety, depression, heart problems and so many other issues.

In simply allowing ourselves to be, love will show itself as the truth of our own hearts. Even in the space of self-doubt, self-questioning, or self-loathing, we cannot be other than that.

When all the knots of the heart are unloosened, then even here in this human birth, the mortal becomes immortal. This is the whole teaching of the Scriptures. ~The Upanishads

Lucinda is a herbalist and nature lover who lives amongst the South Downs with her husband, cats and chickens. She shares her recipes, photos, musings and love of plants in her blog Whispering Earth.

Giveaway! Subscriptions to The Mother Magazine!

2011-09-22T22:26:00.003+01:00

I am so pleased to share this great giveaway with you! 3-one year subsciptions to The Mother Magazine! If you haven't heard of The Mother before I promise you will wonder how you lived without it! See end of post for entry details!

Our journey into natural parenting began during the pregnancy of our first child when my husband and I decided to have a homebirth. Almost as soon as we made this decision we realised just what it meant to take an alternative route when raising children. It began with homebirth, led on to our decision to support natural immunity over vaccination, developed into a passionate interest in nutrition and has found us home educating and generally living alternatively in most ways. At best, people we know have been ambivalent or perhaps slightly curious, at worst we have been challenged and accused of risking our children's lives. We are peacefully confident in our parenting and lifestyle choices but we realised very early on that throughout our lives we will have to explain a lot of things, a lot of times!

A few years ago I read my first copy of The Mother Magazine and suddenly felt like I had come home. I finally felt like we weren't really alone or even that alternative. We were far from being the only people living natural, gentle lives. Families were choosing these types of paths everywhere. I devoured that first issue, drank in every word and the comfort and inspiration I found then on those humble pages has never changed. My latest issue fell through my post box this morning and I've been carrying it around with me all day, reading snippets here and there in any spare quiet moment!

I feel very lucky to have the opportunity to join The Mother as a writer and in this month's issue I shared a piece about -yes- love. September finds my husband and I celebrating our wedding anniversary and this year, our sixth year, feels very special. We have shared so much and yet still feel like we are at the beginning. My piece in this latest issue 'It Began With Love' is a celebration of us, of where it all began. It seems so easy to forget the moments when our hands tingled when we touched and when we would blush and giggle together. Busy parenting and balancing family life can place heavy blinkers on our hearts. I try to remind myself that above everything else, the most important thing we can do is just love each other.

To share this gorgeous publication with you I have been gifted (so generously by Veronika at The Mother) 3 - one year subscriptions to The Mother Magazine to give away on this blog. How fantastic is this! You are going to fall in love with this magazine. I promise.

Giveaway Details:

Giveaway Ends - hr 23.59, 30 September 2011
Giveaway open WORLD WIDE
Winner will be announced 1 October 2011

To Enter:

Follow this blog on Facebook
Follow this blog on Twitter
Tag this blog and giveaway (@Taking Time) on Facebook
Mention this giveaway (@gentlemothering) on Twitter

I will keep track of all entries and YES you can enter more than once by tagging and mentioning as often as you would like. Each tag and mention counts as another entry!!

Homemade Remedies for Autumn Sniffles

2011-09-20T11:01:00.002+01:00

In what has seemed like the blink of an eye, the air has changed and there is definitely a feeling of autumn everywhere we go. There is that unmistakable morning chill, a longing for sweaters and soup and yesterday I found myself dragging out neglected knitting needles and wool.

As soon as I noticed this chill I set to work in my kitchen because this change of season always seems to invite bugs and not the insect kind!

Sure enough the past few days has seen sneezing, runny noses, fevers and general malaise around here. I am thankful, as always, for the healing gifts of nature!

We have been drinking lots of Yarrow, Elderflower and Hyssop tea. Our homeopathy kit has been open for the remedies Aconite, Belladonna and Arsenicum. The kitchen has offered up some garlic, onions and cinnamon for these two simple yet effective remedies:

I have a friend who is a herbalist and she gave me the idea for this garlic and onion syrup. Fill a jar with chopped garlic and onion. Completely cover with honey and keep in the fridge. After a week you can begin to take the honey by the spoonful. You can strain off the garlic and onion or leave it in to infuse for longer. It will keep for ages and just grows more *potent* with time.

Cinnamon tincture is easy to make and lovely to use. A teaspoon in tea or porridge or anything really. I loosely fill a jar with cinnamon sticks cover with a good quality vodka and leave in a dark place for six weeks. Cinnamon is so very good at maintaining wellness and such a warming scent and flavour in the chilly months.

Despite Southern England's cold and rainy summer I feel ready for the shift to autumn. Warm foods, warm clothes, warm remedies and a cup of tea with my knitting.

Farewell to summer!

That's Just Love Sneaking Up On You - Guest Post

2011-09-16T08:37:00.030+01:00

A huge Welcome to Dionna from Code Name: Mama, joining us on our theme of 'Love'. Follow this series by grabbing the September is for Love button (on the right hand side bar) and follow/share on the usual networks Twitter and FB ! Blessing to you all and a huge thanks to Dionna for sharing today!

That's Just Love Sneaking Up On You by Dionna from Code Name: Mama

When we found out we were pregnant with our first son, Kieran, I started falling in love with him from the moment we saw those two lines appear. Love was easy, it was uncomplicated.

This second time around, even after 21 months spent trying to conceive, love has been much more elusive. After the typical panic attacks about how a second child will change our family, followed by the heartache of losing my breastmilk at ten weeks and fears of weaning, I haven't been falling in love as much as I've been wallowing around somewhere near its outer edges.

I've written previously about bonding with a baby before birth when you're not really excited about the pregnancy. One factor I never considered was watching the baby's older sibling fall in love . . . and letting yourself be carried along with it.

~~~~~~~~~~

*Every week we read through the "Your Pregnancy Week ____" at least four times, and we'd do it many more if Kieran had control of the computer. He is fascinated by the baby's development.

*At every midwife appointment, Kieran has come up with questions for our midwife.

*Ever since I started showing, Kieran has included my belly in his show of love and affection for me. One of the best parts of brushing his teeth now is when I pick him up to sit on the counter, he immediately starts planting little kisses all over my growing belly.

*At 20 weeks, we were finally able to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. He was in awe.

*Kieran felt the baby move for the first time at 20 weeks. I can't help but laugh at his reactions to being kicked by someone on the other side of my stomach.

*After my tailbone started hurting, and on the many occasions that I sneeze and groan in disgust (I'll let you figure that one out), Kieran has exhibited such concern for me and any pregnancy discomforts. He has rubbed my feet, asked me how I slept, offered to carry groceries in from the car - all out of his genuine concern for me.

*We finally came up with a nickname for the baby around 25 weeks. Kieran now affectionately refers to his sibling as "Roo," and it helps us all personalize this new little being.

*When we read that Roo could hear and recognize voices, and it was suggested that we read stories and sing songs to the baby, Kieran has enthusiastically catered to Roo's new hearing skills. He often asks me to "read a story to Roo," and he's also had me get the headphones out so we can play music for Roo.

*Watching Kieran love on Roo from the outside of my body, cooing and singing and talking, it has reassured me that this new addition to our family is right, even if it's taken me a little longer than him to figure that out.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sometimes, love springs up quickly, intent on soaking your entire being with its presence. But other times, love creeps in a little more cautiously, making sure that your heart is ready before it takes root.

Dionna is a lawyer turned work at home mama of her amazing son, Kieran. You can normally find Dionna over at Code Name: Mama where she shares information, resources, and her thoughts on natural parenting and life with a toddler/preschooler. Dionna is due with baby number two at the end of November.

Today, Tomorrow and Every Day

2011-09-13T09:00:00.023+01:00

Welcome to the September Carnival of Natural Parenting: 'Parenting Through Play'

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how challenging discipline situations can be met with play. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

Today my dear children...

Today, I want you to run and jump. I want you to pour things out and unfold things. I want you to drop and throw and dig through. Today your job is to crawl under, build up, topple down – smell, taste, feel.

Today, you have space to bicker (within reason), wrestle, talk, explore and rearrange. This is your job today, tomorrow and every day because I know more than anything else, it is most important that children play.

As you play, remember…

That I am always here when you need to run back for a hug or to have your tears wiped away. I am always here to listen to your stories. I will teach you songs and the names of plants. I will hold your hands when we walk and I will read to you for hours, all the same books, over and over.

This is my job today, tomorrow and every day because I know that more than anything else; children need a mother who takes time.

Someday your adventures will mature and take you beyond our walls and our quiet paths out into the Great World. Remember that I will still be here, on this end of the phone and this end of the letterbox.

I will be here to listen to your new stories and I will be here so you can teach me new songs that you have heard and the names of plants I have never seen.

As you grow up, remember…

Someday, when little footprints decorate your own home;

I will still be here to remind you to make space for those little feet. I will remind you how important it is to let them run.

Because the most important thing a child can do is play.

The most important I can do is love you.

Today, my dear children, I want you to play.

Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

On being a more playful parent — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how the Playful Parenting book impacted her.
Parenting a toddler through play — Alicia at I Found My Feet lists some examples of how she uses play to parent through everyday tasks and challenges.
Splashing in Puddles — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares how she learned to get dirty and have fun with her little boy.
Say Please — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life explains how they taught their son manners by "play," showing that actions speak louder than words.
No Nanny Needed — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life wishes parenting through play was her only responsibility during the day.
I'll Run Away With Gypsies — Nikalee at Spotted Pandemonium maneuvers physical and emotional obstacles while spinning playful tales, jumping through hoops, and inspiring the kids to clean the living room.
A Promise To My Daughter — Lindsey at An Unschooling Adventure writes a poem for her daughter promising to use play instead of anger when facing difficult situations.
Parenting Through Play — Not Always Easy But Always Rewarding — Amy at Peace4Parents discusses how play hasn't always come easily to her, the power of appreciative observation, and how her family learns together through play.
Imagination Plays a Role in Our Parenting — Tree at Mom Grooves shares how parents can use play to set the foundation for communication and understanding.
A Box of Crayons — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction talks about how a simple box of crayons has become a wonderful parenting and teaching tool.
The Essential Art of Play — Ana at Pandamoly shares some of her favorite lessons available for young ones through play.
The Art of Distraction — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of distracting alternatives to harsh punishments in tough parenting situations.
Grace and Courtesy Games at Home or School — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now has ideas for grace and courtesy games that help you encourage courteous behavior without reprimanding your child.
I am woman, hear me roar! — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares how one simple sound can diffuse an argument in an instant.
Getting Cooperation Through Play — Amyables at Toddler In Tow talks about respecting the worldview of a preschooler by using play to encourage connection and cooperation.
Playful Parenting = Extra Energy?? — Momma Jorje didn't think she had the energy for playful parenting. See what she was surprised to learn…
Dance Party Parenting — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen learned how to be the parent her children need through play.
Wrestling Saved My Life — Wrestling is as vital to her son's well-being as babywearing once was, finds Hannah at Wild Parenting.
Parenting through play — By playing with her children, Tara from MUMmedia is given amazing opportunites to teach, train and equip her children for life.
Parenting Through Play Starts in Infancy — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Issa from LoveLiveGrow shares that though she only has a 3-month-old, playful parenting has already started.
Play Before Sleep — Adrienne at Mommying My Way writes about how playing and singing with her son before he falls asleep helps calm her frustrations that tend to arise at night.
Playful Parenting — Or 5 Lessons My Son Has Taught Me About Parenting Through Play — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama has learned to be a better parent by following her toddler's lead in play.
Hurry up! Hurry up! I mean it! Quack, quack, quack! — Kellie at Our Mindful Life leads a trail of ducklings
On the Road: Learning to Play — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers her inner adult through a summer of playing with her children.
Preventing Tantrums Through Play — Gaby at Tmuffin explains how she keeps her household happy by not taking things too seriously.
Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting Through Play — Lily, aka Witch Mom, redirects unwanted behavior in a toddler using games and play.
Exaggerating for effect — Lauren at Hobo Mama has learned how to ham it up.
Handling Big Emotions with Role Playing — Zoie at TouchstoneZ plays at tempering her parental frustrations while helping her children handle some big emotions
How To Herd Toddlers by Talking Pictorially — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama demonstrates how talking in pictures is a playful way to engage your young child in transitioning from one activity to the next.
Getting a Toddler to Go Where You Want…Playfully — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how a game of hide-and-seek can be used to steer a wandering toddler in the direction of her choosing.
Playful Parenting: Chores That Do Themselves — Remember chores when you were a kid? If chores were this fun for Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey, she wouldn't have needed any reminders!
Clown School Express: Playing away Fears — MudpieMama describes how she helped her boys confront their fears about starting kindergarten by playing with trains.
Practicing Playful Parenting — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle realizes that playfulness is the best way through the day and seeks more ways to practice it.
Today, Tomorrow and Every Day — Starr at Taking Time addresses her children in a letter sharing with them how improtant it is that they spend their childhood playing.
Learning Through Immersion — Luschka at Diary of a First Child shares how she helps her daughter develop naturally without focusing on teaching, but rather by immersing her in their family's way of life and making her an active part of her environment.
Play Here Now — Jessica at Instead of Institutions learns and relearns and tries to remember the value of play.
Play: A Wonderful Parenting Tool — Mamapoekie from Authentic Parenting offers a list of examples on how to use play in real-life parenting situations.
Playful Parenting — a Book Review — Erica at ChildOrganics shares simple yet sage advice from Dr. Cohen on how play can change your child's life.
Mock Threats: Turning Real Frustration into Playful Parenting — Threatening is not an effective discipline strategy, but Dionna at Code Name: Mama explains how parents can turn their frustration into playful moments by making "mock threats."
I'm Sick of Yelling — I Want to Play — Alicia at McCrenshaw's Newest Thoughts realizes she needs to change the way she's parenting and is forming a new plan.
Sing-along, Brush-along Songs — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest shares a few songs to make brushing her three-year-old's teeth more fun.
Monster Voice — Ever have those frustrating moments with your kid(s) when you just want to scream? Amy at Anktangle shares a silly strategy for getting through those difficult times.

'Weekend Link Up' and The Boys I Love

2011-09-09T20:21:00.000+01:00

This little space is taking time this month to notice and treasure the blessings in our lives, the things we love. If you have such a post and would like to share it please do so by linking it up below.

I am so very, very ♥in love♥ with these two boys...

Setting Things Straight - Guest Post

2011-09-06T09:20:00.002+01:00

I am really pleased to welcome Michelle from The Parent Vortex today for the first in the series of Love! Feel free to grab the September is for Love button (on the right hand side bar) and follow/share on the usual networks Twitter and FB ! Blessing to you all and a huge thanks to Michelle for joining us!

Setting Things Straight by Michelle at The Parent Vortex

It’s a wild morning at our house. Most mornings are, actually. Breakfast is half-eaten, math worksheets have been done but teeth have not been brushed, and both girls are running laps around the house and squealing. I want to go out but nobody’s dressed properly. Chaos reins supreme.

“Come here, please. I’m going to brush your hair.”

My eldest daughter has thick, thick hair. When she was three, her head had more hair growing on it than mine did. Her hair, like her personality, is a force to be reckoned with, likes to knot up on itself, and is totally gorgeous.

I stand behind her with the hair brush and begin to gently brush the tangles out. We chat about things and discuss our plans for the day. Her hair begins to shine and the wild feeling in the air subsides.

It takes a little while to get all the tangles out of her hair, but it’s time well spent. Those few moments of one-on-one attention set us both on a path of cooperation again, instead of heading towards a day of being adversaries.

At five years old she still really needs me to help her with her hair - I put her hair in a ponytail so it’s up out of her eyes because she hasn’t got the dexterity to put an elastic in on her own. She can brush the front by herself but forgets that there are tangles in the back, where she can’t see and has difficulty reaching. In a few years she’ll be doing this and many other tasks for herself, and she won’t need me to set things straight for her so much. Or maybe we’ll be using other things to reconnect and strengthen our relationship.

But right now, helping her brush out the tangles is one way I can show her that I love her in a small but tangible way every day. Brushing makes her hair straight and shiny, and the attention sets our relationship straight too.

Even the smallest things can be acts of love.

Michelle Carchrae is a freelance writer, homeschooling mama and up to her elbows in blueberry jam. She spends her days playing, learning and exploring the beautiful Canadian Pacific Northwest.

www.theparentvortex.com

September is for Love

2011-09-03T00:08:00.001+01:00

(Yes, in case you noticed,Taking Time has had a makeover!)

I have been doing a little planning, a little brainstorming and I am excited to announce that for the month of September this quiet space is going to host some really fun activities!

September is going to be a themed month - the theme is 'Love'.

Too often, I find that the day has passed, clothes have been washed, food has been made, floors have been swept, phone calls have been made, emails have been drafted and as I tuck my children into bed I realise that I have been doing a lot of 'doing' and not a lot of pausing, laughing or playing. Life and all its business preoccupies my mind and I forget that I do all I do because of love. The love I have for my children, the love I have for my husband, the love I have for my life. I want to focus on the blessings in my life, celebrate love in my home and nurture it in our hearts.

Please don't go far away this month. There are going to be some wonderful things here at Taking Time. I am so pleased to have some of my favourite bloggers dropping by to share some guest posts, there will be some giveaway treats and some 'Linky' fun where you can stop in and share your own posts...all celebrating love of course!

You can grab the 'love' button by copying the code on the right and share, follow and tweet on FB and Twitter as much as you feel inspired!

I hope your summers are winding down peacefully, thank you as always for visiting my blog!

xx

The most important thing I will ever do

2011-08-10T20:35:00.001+01:00

Sickened.

Deep in the pit of my stomach, a feeling so desperate and helpless. I finally succumbed to my curiosity and turned on the television yesterday to see the London riots. I am not huge on watching the news, it is just so depressing. I would rather read about the headlines in a moment of my choosing, when I feel up to it. but yesterday I watched it and was more saddened than I expected to be.

Frightening, infuriating, confusing, completely heartbreaking. What type of neglect occurs, when nurturing the heart of a child, that allows room for the development of such abhorrence? Or, were their hearts never nurtured at all? My thoughts tumble and tumble. Did they have traumatic births followed by no bonding, were they not breast fed, sent to nurseries as infants, drugged up on pharmaceuticals, drugged up on narcotics? Were they beaten, disciplined too harshly, not disciplined enough...? Do they all come from broken homes and extreme poverty...really? Is it a mixture of all of this or none of it? My thoughts race each other to the same finish line, one huge question mark. Will it ever be possible to root this diseased branch of our culture solidly anywhere?

As I watch these thoughts lead to nowhere I suddenly see these three faces

Like the biting chill of a quick intake of winter wind I am struck with the enormity of the responsibility we carry as parents. I have always thought of myself as quite confident in our 'alternative' parenting choices, but somewhere, underneath my conscious mind and our adamant decisions, I must have been a little apprehensive. I know this only because suddenly, as I watched young people set fire to buildings and terrorise our communities with their wretchedness, I felt a hidden stress melt away and was overwhelmed with a sense of strength.

We are making the correct choices and I sincerely no longer care what anyone thinks.

I was also reminded ever so poignantly how important it is to remain present, even through tiredness, even through financial stress, even when we want to scream in frustration. Our presence is what makes the difference. When we take time to bond with and nurture our infants. When we make the necessary sacrifices to create a healthy, peaceful lifestyle for our families. When we take time to teach when our children are ready to learn and when we give time when our children need space to learn. When we remain consistent in our firmness - always insisting that behaviour is loving, even when it is 5 PM and we feel like giving up, it is not OK to ignore it when they shout and snatch...

These are the things that matter most. Taking time to invest in their hearts.

I do not believe that some children are born 'bad' but I do believe that some are born blessed. We, their parents, are their blessings.

Mothering is the most important thing I will ever do.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

~Kahlil Gibran

The Food Village, a Giveaway and General 'Food Love'!

2011-08-07T22:10:00.003+01:00

"Companion: someone you share bread with." ~Richard Bertinet from "Dough"

My husband and I, along with some very dear friends, have spent the last many moons working tirelessly; brainstorming, designing, creating, conjuring and have finally, finally, completed a project that I love and wanted to take a moment to share...

www.thefoodvillage.co.uk

The Food Village is a space where anyone can find or sell locally made or grown food.

Real food...

Fresh food...

Local food...

Artisan foods and homemade foods...

Since food - good food - is a seriously beloved topic of mine, you will occasionally find me at The Food Village Blog blogging about food (of course!) and If you fancy there is a really fun giveaway going on at The Food Village this week, just follow this link to enter to win this Le Creuset baking dish.

This time of year is a particularly wonderful time to celebrate food and we have been taking full advantage!

"Before eating, always take time to thank the food." ~Arapaho Proverb

I don't recommend growing carrots in a pot without thinning them! However, despite this little gardening mistake we were quite excited to harvest these darling little carrots!

and as promised, a recipe that will definitely set your mouth, and your heart, on fire. Even if you don't like spicy you must try this because it is so very, very tasty, I think your taste buds might thank you!

Chili Sauce

12 large red chilies

12 small green chilies

3 garlic cloves

1 inch fresh ginger root

some dried Italian herbs ~ to taste

4 teaspoons white vinegar

sea salt to taste

2-3 tablespoons sunflower oil (cold pressed preferably)

Juice of half a lemon

blend - until it is a paste texture not a juice texture!

enjoy.

it gets better with age, just leave it in the fridge.

**it is VERY hot but also has taste. It is lovely!

Amber Necklace and Beyond

2011-08-04T22:41:00.002+01:00

"Do those necklaces really work?"

How many times have I been asked this question when people see the amber teething necklace? I always reply that I am certain they work but to be honest she has always worn it so I don't really have anything to compare with. There have been times when I 'think' that teething has bothered her but it has been so mild I hardly know if it has really been her teeth. When my eldest was teething I had never heard of teething necklaces and he suffered significantly more then Ella has. So do I think they work? Yes certainly, but even if they don't they are very, very cute and sometimes I think enjoying something just because it is beautiful is reason enough, if it helps her teething pain that is a bonus!

Since I only tried the amber necklace with my third baby, my middle baby has never had her own necklace - of course she needed one! I came across this charming little company Beads for Mamas and was struck with an idea. I inquired if it was possible for a necklace to be made exactly like the Amber necklace with the safetly clasp and individually tied knots but made from Rose Quartz instead of Amber. Hannah at Beads for Mamas created the most perfectly beautiful necklace. We love it.

She says on her site that "Rose Quartz is believed to produce a restful, cooling energy that will restore calmness balance and clarity to the emotions. Wearing Rose Quartz opens your heart, bringing more trust and love into your life"

Similar to the amber necklace, if someone asks if the Rose Quartz necklace 'works' I will say that really I don't know, but I am certain it does. However, even if it does nothing at all, it is lovely...

Taking Time, Best Friends and Healthy Fairy Cakes

2011-07-19T22:02:00.000+01:00

Sometimes my husband's work takes him abroad. We watch him turn the house upside down as he packs, checks camera gear, looks for odds and ends, cables and chargers. We watch him talk through phone call after phone call, organising things like hiring massive lights and arranging extra luggage allowances. We watch him haul bags and heavy flight cases out of the house then stand together waving frantically at the back of a taxi. Then, when the cab is completely out of sight and my children have taken to running up and down the street, I take a deep breath and straighten my shoulders because I know that for the next many, many days it's just me, the children and the cat.

and I surrender...

I let myself not answer emails or reply to text messages. I let myself cancel play dates. I let my last blog post sit and age for as long as necessary. Because I function best when I have time to make my house tidy, organise meals, read to the children and go to bed early. My children need a mother that is present. My house needs a woman that is present and my mind needs space so that I can attend to all of these needs without falling to pieces.

So this is where I have been, home. Sometimes I wonder why I ever feel the need to be anywhere else.

Best friends taking time to have cake...

My semi healthy- flour not soaked - still using, even though its not overly processed it's still sugar, rapadura sugar - fairy cakes:

2 1/4 cup flour - whole grain (or a mix of whole grain and white if you feel a bit naughty!)

1 1/2 - ish cup rapadura sugar (the high molasses content in rapadura tends to make cakes a bit heavy so I try to be less is more with this.

2/3 cup butter - raw, grass fed of course

1 1/4 cup milk - raw, grass fed of course!

3 1/2 teaspoon baking powder - I know, I know...aluminium...!

1 teaspoon sea salt

1 teaspoon vanilla extract - not essence please!

5 large egg whites - local free range

Heat oven to a medium heat - 350 F or 180 C. Line fairy cake/cupcake tin with cute paper baking cups. Beat all ingredients except egg whites in a large bowl with electric mixer on low speed for 30 seconds and on high speed for two minutes. Beat in egg whites on high speed for two minutes. Fill each cup half full and bake for 20 -25 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.

As soon as you remove them from the oven spoon a drizzle of runny honey mixed with a bit of orange juice on the top of each one. It soaks in and then cools to be all sweet and very, very yum!!

This recipe is adapted loosely from the Sliver White Cake recipe in Betty Crocker's Cookbook, the Bridal Edition a treasured wedding gift from my sweet, sweet brother!

The Moon of Making Fat

2011-06-22T23:00:00.008+01:00

As I have been conjuring up this post, I have noticed that it seems to be a common theme this month (here and here) but I suppose it is only natural as we are in the 'Moon of Making Fat'. Cattle are feeding on fresh grass and herbs, this is the season for butter.

Lately, I have been completely infatuated with this book Full Moon Feast by Jessica Prentice (one of the co-founders of Locavores.) It is such a fantastic read, if you are at all a foodie. I sit cuddled in bed at night and have to continually stop myself from saying to my husband over and over "listen to this!"... "listen to this!" It is a gorgeous book and has given me the last little nudge I needed to finally make our own butter instead of buying it. As usual, with these sorts of things, I don't know why I haven't included this routine into our lives before now. Making butter is very easy and when made from local, raw, jersey cream it is basically a super food...

"adult bodies have considerable trouble converting plant nutrients into usable vitamins, but children fare even worse....One alternative way to get those crucial plant nutrients into a child is.... to run them through a cow...there are very few children who don't like butter or cream" (page 100)

I picked up some extra cream on our weekly dairy visit and set to work, okay this was hardly work!

I have been making my butter in a high powered blender, however many are doing it by simply pouring cream into jars and shaking them. It can most certainly be made in a regular kitchen mixer as well. I am having kitchen mixer issues so I 've been using my blender which works very well, it just isn't as easy to clean! I just pour the cream in and turn it on. My cream is VERY thick so I've been adding a splash of milk so that it will churn easier. I am not convinced this is absolutely necessary.

It is amazing. The cream gets creamier and creamier then suddenly, without any warning, turns into butter. You can tell this has happened because the butter separates from the buttermilk and the buttermilk splashes all over.

The first time I made it, I didn't churn it long enough. The cream grew very, very thick and although I *thought* it was butter, there was something about it that wasn't quite right. Turns out It wasn't butter but was just really thick cream! It is obvious when the cream has turned into butter.

I rinse it off under cold water and then enjoy! I do not salt my butter because I don't like cooking with salted butter - interferes with the salt levels of an overall dish - but the butter can be salted before churning or after.

My next experiment is to make cultured butter by allowing the cream to clabber before I churn it. This way I will have a sour buttermilk and will also have given all those amazing bacteria a chance to grow making this already nutritious food - really, really nutritious!

Beautiful! Thank you cows! Thank you summer for blessing us with such beautiful gifts!

Replacing the Battles

2011-06-16T10:00:00.014+01:00

"We are going to sit here in SILENCE for two minutes"

"Shh..."

"Mama is grumpy, short tempered and CAN NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE NOISE!!!"

My children stared at me in semi-silence. Their beautiful faces cast in bemused wonderment. I closed my eyes but could feel their unabashed joy and childishness begin to bubble over their genuine attempts to remain quiet.

"Okay, now I want you to sing, that will cheer us up" My instruction must have seemed ridiculous but they began a simple serenade.

'Way up high in the apple tree,

Two little apples smiling at me.

I shook that tree as hard as I could

and down came the apples and mmm they were good'

The plan worked, I could feel my tension begin to fade. Their voices were so small and lovely, wobbling and wavering around the simple tune, and then the giggling. Such an infectious, beautiful sound. I couldn't help but join in and soon the grumpy, monster mama was gone and we were all smiling and singing together.

I came into the kitchen later and saw this little message on my refrigerator. I put it there months ago and once in a while it seems to jump out at me, knowing somehow that in a particular moment I need this reminder.

Be Careful of rules for your children.
Rules diminish responsibility.
Be careful of rewards for your children.
Rewards diminish self esteem.
Be careful of punishments for your children.
Punishments diminish trust.
Let lessons be imposed by the nature of things,
not by your own agendas or your own needs.
Integrity will replace rules.
Contentment will replace striving.
Spirituality will replace religion.
Songs will replace arguments.
Dances will replace battles.

~William Martin, The Parents Tao Te Ching

Sometimes parenting feels like a battle. There is no dancing, no singing, just hour after hour of me wrestling my children's behaviour. I realise though, that usually I cause this battle, not by consistent, gentle, firm parenting, but by demands, orders and spatting. When I let lessons be taught by the nature of things and respond instead of react, the days flow smoothly and I don't find myself at a 'boiling over' point.

My personal reminder this week:

Replace the battles with dancing and just love them.

I think I've found it...natural sun protection.

2011-06-14T00:05:00.006+01:00

I am from Alaska so really... what do I know about sunburn?

My husband, on the other hand, is South African and his fair complexion has been beautifully passed along to our daughters. Considering my own olive skin and my considerable lack of 'sunny experiences' I have learned to pay attention when my husband says that the sun is too hot for bare skinned exposure. His concerns about sun damage are something I take seriously.

However.

There is something about sunscreen - even a 'natural' one - that doesn't sit right with me. It isn't just the chemicals, although that is abhorrent on its own. It is the idea of blocking the sun from our bodies. The sun is natural, our ability to tan is natural. Why are we so frightened of the sun?

Then I read somewhere, and I admit to not having my usual bibliography of scientific facts behind me on this... I read somewhere that Australia has the highest rate of skin cancer AND the highest rate of sunblock consumption. These statistics rang alarm bells with me and I began to study natural ways to protect ourselves against sun damage. I thought that, regardless of the pros and cons of sunscreen, there had to be a natural way to protect ourselves from sun damage! We haven't always been able to rely on sunblock in a tube!

Of course, there are the most obvious ways to protect ourselves and our children from sun damage; don't be bare-skinned in blazing sun, wear hats, sit in the shade, stay away from the sun during the hottest part of the day, drink lots of water, let yourself tan. But sometimes these things aren't enough, or realistic, and we will be in the sun, it will be too hot for long sleeves and the children won't keep their hats on.

So I studied and studied about how to do all of this naturally and I think I have finally discovered something that just might border on miraculous.... and mind you, my girls are very fair!

Red Raspberry Seed Oil.

That's it, just the oil from the seed of a raspberry. I don't even know how you collect the seeds of a raspberry but this little oil is meant to have an SPF of around 40 and I feel comfortable saying that this little oil really truly does protect against sunburn.

I am leaving the jury out a little - because after all we are in Britain and we don't get that many hot days. However, having said this, we have had some hot sunny days and I do have two very fair red heads. A few drops rubbed casually on the skin (applied frequently) and yes, red raspberry seed oil seems to work.

It is also seems to work amazingly if the sun has beat you to the skin and a pink hue has appeared. The skin turns a shade of brown very soon after a simple massage of red raspberry seed oil.

I am very impressed and so relieved to be using a gentle oil on my children instead of rubbing ghastly chemicals into their skin. Also, I feel like we are working with the sun instead of hiding from it and I believe that being able to have this attitude towards the sun is healthy, both for our minds and our skin.

Happy Summer!!