 |
| Helping prepare the Christmas Cake that will sit for the next two months |
Something wonderful has happened this month.
After living away from family for the past six years, parenting and growing our family in a little cacoon we built to cradle just us - my husband and I, our babies, our dreams, our laughter and our tears. After letters, long distance phone calls and millions of lonely minutes we suddenly have what we have always missed. This month my husband's mother left her home in South Africa, travelled across the world and has come to live with us.
It is wonderful.
Watching our family move through this transition has opened my heart and my thoughts in ways I would have never imagined. I realise how insular and isolated we had become. I see how independent we were forced to be and how difficult it is so shed this habit. I see how big the hole in our family really was. It feels like a cornerstone that was missing has been replaced.
 |
| Granny fastening toys together with scarves - everyone's favourite activity lately! |
Apart from the obvious blessing, an extra pair of helping hands, It is wonderful to see my husband with his mother. He seems more settled and more peaceful than I have seen him in years. It is wonderful to see my children with a grandparent, someone who is just that bit more patient and doting than I seem to have ever energy to be. It is wonderful for me to have just that extra bit of space in my mind but it is also so wonderful to share the nurturing of our home with another woman, her years and experience continually enriching my heart as a mother and as a woman.
I am learning as well, to let go of silly preferences and the somewhat ridiculous ideals that come from reading too many parenting books and not having extended family nearby to help bring balance and focus.
It is more important that my children have a granny who adores them and is here to embrace them than if they never have sweets and only have wooden toys...
and then of course the obvious...
I take the children out for the afternoon and come home to a hot meal and cake. I turn around and the washing has been hung out. Within seconds of hearing a wail, a crying child is gathered up and comforted. When we are putting the children to bed the dinner dishes are being washed and for the first time in what seems like ever my husband and I have gone walking together in the twilight on our own.
I feel blessed beyond measure. Suddenly there is new meaning to the idea of raising a child amongst a village, how were we ever managing alone?
 |
| Granny joining in with the playdough creations |
Many Autumnal blessings and an apology for my absence! I am back in blog land now!
5 comments:
Wow - what a lovely and moving post. I seem to have a bit of dust in my eye here!!!! Such a shame that we have lost the tradition of living as extended families in our culture. Good for you all for doing it, I am sure it will be such an enriching experience for you all x
That's exactly what I've had for the past 4.5 years. The washing done, the floor swept, the cooker cleaned, the moans listened to and the children played with and loved. Impromptu 'sleep overs' at Nani's, delicious Indian meals savoured. Suddenly on 14th October she was taken from us quite suddenly, never to return. I don't think I will ever stop missing her. Cherish what you have, cherish every minute of all that knowledge, experience and love.
Thank you so much for your post! Sometimes it seems like my husband and I's idea of having our parents move in is just a romantic notion of the past. But you give evidence of it being a blessing still possible. I'm sure it has it's challenges and boundaries to be set, but those seem trivial to the joy that can come from it.
Lovely, how do we mannage without the village and our mothers? I'd have had an enormous brood if I had a lovely Granny next door to extend loving arms. I had four as it is!
Ohh Dear Really ExlentYours Blog.....
Post a Comment