I am really pleased to welcome Michelle from The Parent Vortex today for the first in the series of Love! Feel free to grab the September is for Love button (on the right hand side bar) and follow/share on the usual networks Twitter and FB ! Blessing to you all and a huge thanks to Michelle for joining us!
Setting Things Straight by Michelle at The Parent Vortex
It’s a wild morning at our house. Most mornings are, actually. Breakfast is half-eaten, math worksheets have been done but teeth have not been brushed, and both girls are running laps around the house and squealing. I want to go out but nobody’s dressed properly. Chaos reins supreme.
“Come here, please. I’m going to brush your hair.”
My eldest daughter has thick, thick hair. When she was three, her head had more hair growing on it than mine did. Her hair, like her personality, is a force to be reckoned with, likes to knot up on itself, and is totally gorgeous.
I stand behind her with the hair brush and begin to gently brush the tangles out. We chat about things and discuss our plans for the day. Her hair begins to shine and the wild feeling in the air subsides.
It takes a little while to get all the tangles out of her hair, but it’s time well spent. Those few moments of one-on-one attention set us both on a path of cooperation again, instead of heading towards a day of being adversaries.
At five years old she still really needs me to help her with her hair - I put her hair in a ponytail so it’s up out of her eyes because she hasn’t got the dexterity to put an elastic in on her own. She can brush the front by herself but forgets that there are tangles in the back, where she can’t see and has difficulty reaching. In a few years she’ll be doing this and many other tasks for herself, and she won’t need me to set things straight for her so much. Or maybe we’ll be using other things to reconnect and strengthen our relationship.
But right now, helping her brush out the tangles is one way I can show her that I love her in a small but tangible way every day. Brushing makes her hair straight and shiny, and the attention sets our relationship straight too.
Even the smallest things can be acts of love.
“Come here, please. I’m going to brush your hair.”
My eldest daughter has thick, thick hair. When she was three, her head had more hair growing on it than mine did. Her hair, like her personality, is a force to be reckoned with, likes to knot up on itself, and is totally gorgeous.
I stand behind her with the hair brush and begin to gently brush the tangles out. We chat about things and discuss our plans for the day. Her hair begins to shine and the wild feeling in the air subsides.
It takes a little while to get all the tangles out of her hair, but it’s time well spent. Those few moments of one-on-one attention set us both on a path of cooperation again, instead of heading towards a day of being adversaries.
At five years old she still really needs me to help her with her hair - I put her hair in a ponytail so it’s up out of her eyes because she hasn’t got the dexterity to put an elastic in on her own. She can brush the front by herself but forgets that there are tangles in the back, where she can’t see and has difficulty reaching. In a few years she’ll be doing this and many other tasks for herself, and she won’t need me to set things straight for her so much. Or maybe we’ll be using other things to reconnect and strengthen our relationship.
But right now, helping her brush out the tangles is one way I can show her that I love her in a small but tangible way every day. Brushing makes her hair straight and shiny, and the attention sets our relationship straight too.
Even the smallest things can be acts of love.
Michelle Carchrae is a freelance writer, homeschooling mama and up to her elbows in blueberry jam. She spends her days playing, learning and exploring the beautiful Canadian Pacific Northwest.
www.theparentvortex.com
3 comments:
I don't brush Arthurs hair everyday, just when it's been washed (he has the curly surfer look at 2 years old!). But when we do sit down quiely after a batha use coconut to smooth it out it feels like a really intermite and special moment.
Thankyou for sharing ways inwhich we conect during everday activities.
that's such a charming post :-) and...so alien to me! I can safely say I have NEVER experienced this sort of thing with my son who is now 9. In his entire life I have probably spent five minutes brushing his hair haha! It is not something he wishes to spend a nano second on. I do manage to get him to let me do a relaxing head massage on him when he's in the bath though (and can't run away!)so that's something lovely to share. I think these little everyday moments can be so important even though they are so 'normal'.
I'm sure my experience is not the same for everyone! For a long time Bea really hated having her hair brushed, and we had it cut pretty short to make the brushing as easy as possible. Now that she's a little older she likes it better when her hair is brushed out and looks good.
Other kids probably have different things like this that they respond to. I love that your son lets you do a head massage for him!
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