A Moment for Mama…

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Welcome to the October Carnival of Natural Parenting: Staying Centered, Finding Balance

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they stay centered and find balance. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

Most times I can’t imagine being away from my babies, the thought of it actually makes my chest feel heavy. Sometimes, when things have been especially busy, my husband will say something very sweet like ‘shall I take the children for a walk so you can rest?’ I might consider for a second but my answer is always ‘No! I want to go too!’ Isn’t this the beauty of fully attached mothering? The threads we weave around our hearts are so tightly bound to our children that we can’t physically imagine being separated from them.

But yes... sometimes mama needs a moment. A moment of silence to collect scattered thought, a moment of care to calm fragile emotions or just simply a moment to run upstairs for a pair of socks all by myself...

Without these moments I quickly feel deflated and depleted, grumpy, tired and impatient…Our home begins to spin, we argue, meals are late, things are messy and everyone feels drained. Truthfully, if mama’s frazzled everyone is frazzled. However, finding time for a ‘mama recharge’ is so often easier said than done. My husband and I live thousands of miles away from our families and my husband’s work requires that he travel a lot- this means that I am often completely on my own with the children. I have to be creative and inventive to find these necessary spaces just for me.

I recently read a lovely post about creating ‘white space’ in our lives. Empty spaces in-between the busy activities that fill our days. This idea rings strongly with me. Sometimes creating empty space amongst the chaos is the only time I get to calm my emotions and focus my thoughts. I try to take full advantage of these moments to breathe and centre my spirit.  Wonderfully, I notice that as I look for these little moments, other moments – longer moments - seem to appear out of nowhere and I find that I do have time to meditate, write or just sit and do absolutely nothing. This is when my soul is really nourished and I am able to flow gently with the hectic demands of the day.
 

Mothering is such a wonderful journey I can’t imagine being away from it and missing all the beautiful moments. This includes staying home by myself when we could all be on a walk together but also includes missing anything because I am distracted, tired or drained. I will always seek out moments to recharge but I will also always remind myself that the time with my children is fleeting. They grow so quickly and will soon be out in the world on their own. I can’t imagine how much I will miss them then and so now I will relish my empty spaces and recharge on the run if necessary.

Motherwort is a wonderful herb for a tired, busy mother (so appropriately named). It helps balance hormones.  When I feel like my head might explode and my temper is getting short, I dilute a few drops in some water and almost instantly my edges soften. It also calms menstrual cramps and helps those up and down days right before a moon time.

 Oats - a girl's best friend. Make a paste with a little water for a gorgeous facial, sprinkle some in the bath for a relaxing soak or use as a dry shampoo on a day when there just isn't time for a proper hair wash.

Arabian scented oils to make me feel luxurious even if I haven't washed my hair and I am wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday and the day before...

The Super Model Carmen Dell'Orefice has been quoted saying that she attributes her classic beauty to using Bag Balm on her face instead of expensive creams. The main ingredient in Bag balm is lanolin. Lanolin as a moisturiser once or twice a month keeps my skin healthy and nourished.

 Beloved books, always close to hand, lift my spirits and brings me comfort.

 

A reminder carefully placed...pause mama, find an empty space and breathe...

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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be updated October 12 with all the carnival links.)

Balance — Sheila at A Gift Universe has put her baby first — and has no regrets. (@agiftuniverse)

A Moment for Mama — Starr at Earth Mama has learned how to recharge on the run, so she doesn't miss a moment with her children.

Take a 30-Minute or 5-Minute Me-Break — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now discusses the merits of taking small daily breaks to maintain balance. (@DebChitwood)

Achieving Balance — In a guest post at the new Natural Parents Network, Heather explains how yoga has helped her find balance in her personal and family life. (@NatParNet)

A Stitch in (Quiet) Time Saves Momma’s Mind — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma didn't realize she needed "me" time — until she got it and had no idea what to do with herself. (@kitchenwitch)

Attachment Parenting and Balance — Michelle at The Parent Vortex believes that the last item on the "attachment parenting" list is both the most important and the most overlooked. (@TheParentVortex)

Little Breaks Bring a Little Balance — Jen at Grow with Graces finds balance - some days! (@growwithgraces)

Finding Balance — Are you a Type A mama? Dionna at Code Name: Mama is, and she needs your help to find balance. (@CodeNameMama)

(high)Centered — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine has had a spa gift certificate sitting on her nightstand since last year, a symbol of her inability to take time for herself.

Taking Time for Me — Marita at Stuff With Thing takes refuge in the world of books, with her daughters immersed in reading beside her. (@leechbabe)

Writing as a parent: October Carnival of Natural Parenting — Lauren at Hobo Mama didn't let parenting put her passions on hold. (@Hobo_Mama)

The Dance of Balance — Balance isn't static. It is dynamic, it is a dance, it is about keeping in touch with you. Read this wonderful bit of wisdom from Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante. (@seonaid_lee)

Rest Hour - a Primer — Do you get 15 minutes to yourself each day? How about an hour?! Mrs. H. at Fleeting Moments shares her tips on how to incorporate a "rest hour" for adults and kids.

Separation Is Critical — Only through enforced separation with the end of her marriage did Jessica at This is Worthwhile realize she should have taken time apart all along. (@tisworthwhile)

Bread, Roses, and a Side of Guilt. — Betsy at Honest 2 Betsy isn't ashamed to admit that she enjoys a pint once in awhile, or that her daughter recreates it during pretend play.

The World from Within My Arms — Rachael at The Variegated Life finds balance despite her work and her husband's commitment to art through attachment parenting. (@RachaelNevins)

Balancing the Teeter-Totter — Rebecca is rediscovering balance by exploring her interests and passions in several different categories. She shares in this guest post at The Connected Mom. (@theconnectedmom)

Balancing this Life — Danielle at born.in.japan is slowly learning the little tricks that make her family life more balanced. (@borninjp)

Uninterrupted Parenting — Amy at Innate Wholeness has learned that she does not need to interrupt parenting in order to find balance.

Knitting for My Family — Knitting is more than just a hobby for Kellie at Our Mindful Life, it is her creative and mental outlet, it has blessed her with friendships she might not otherwise have had, and it provides her with much-needed balance.

Taking the Time — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker has all the time she needs, now her girls are just a bit older.

Please, Teach Me How — Amy at Anktangle needs your help: please share how you find time for yourself, because she is struggling. (@anktangle)

A Pendulum Swings Both Ways — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment found herself snapping with too little time for herself, and then veered toward too much.

Finding Balance Amidst Change — It took a season of big changes and added responsibility, but Melodie of Breastfeeding Moms Unite! now feels more balanced and organized as a mama than ever before. (@bfmom)

At Home with Three Young Children: The Search for Balance, Staying Sane — With three young kids, Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings knows parents sometimes have to adjust their expectations of how much downtime they can reasonably have. (@sunfrog)

Attachment Parenting? And finding some "Me Time" — As a mother who works full time, Momma Jorje wants "me" time that includes her daughter.

A Balancing Act — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes has concrete ways to help keep centered with a little one and a new baby on the way, from exercise to early bedtimes to asking for help. (@sheryljesin)

Aspiring Towards Libra — Are your soul-filling activities the first to be pushed aside when life gets hectic? Kelly of KellyNaturally.com aspires to make time for those "non-necessities" this year. (@kellynaturally)

SARKisms for Sanity — Erica at ChildOrganics has found renewed inspiration to take baths and laugh often from a book she had on the shelf. (@childorganics)